Author Archives: kavila38

“Every problem has an opportunity for something good. You just have to look for it.” Yamada, K. (2016) What Do You Do With A Problem? (M. Besom, Illus.). Compendium, Inc. Sounds easy, right? Turning something bad into something good. Finding the happiness in a maze of sadness. Staying calm in a storm of chaos. It’sContinue reading “The Black Belt Spirit”

A warm breeze, the morning sun, a fresh cup of coffee. I am sitting under the maple tree in our front yard with Luis, my love and best friend. We are all home in Kingston for the week. It is our first summer morning sitting together, looking at the trees, listening to the birds, andContinue reading “Recharge”

“It’s the cold fish dying in your stomach feeling. You try to forget about it, but as soon as you do, the fish starts flopping around under your heart and reminds you that something truly horrible is happening.” (Ozeki, 2013, p.180) Since Theo relapsed, I have been at war with my emotions. Like a bubblyContinue reading “Zazen”

Two weeks ago, I was going through my notes in preparation to write a new blog entry. It had been, gosh, at least two months since I had given an update. I had all my detailed notes with dates and times from his visits with urology, cardiology, and monthly provider visits. Theo had been inContinue reading “Backwards World”

Once upon a time there was a boy, full of adventure and courage. He was empathetic and kind, making friends wherever he would go. He lived in Seattle with his parents and went to school where he learned Spanish, the native language of his father. One day the boy woke up with a runny noseContinue reading “Mashed Potatoes”

Today is Friday, December 31st, 2021. That means there are exactly 12 days left of Theo’s cancer treatment. 12 days left of taking pills. 12 days until Theo is DONE WITH THERAPY and hopefully, done with this disease forever. Now, if that isn’t the best Christmas present ever in the world, I don’t know whatContinue reading “The Final Countdown”

November 2021. It’s been one year and 10 months since Theo was first diagnosed with leukemia. One year and ten months of heart ache, tears, triumphs, fear, stress, and insane love. One year and ten months of (pardon my language) figuring this shit out. The therapy map, back pokes, hospital stays, the list of medications,Continue reading “Lessons”

Game shows. I used to watch them at Grandma Ethel and Papa Ted’s house with my siblings when we were kids. In the morning, it was The Price is Right and Family Feud. At dinner time, we would all find a seat in front of the tv and watch Wheel of Fortune, followed by Jeopardy,Continue reading “Solving the Puzzle”

Have you ever seen a moon snail eating apple pie? Or wished upon a sea star falling in the sky? I once saw a great blue heron talking on his phone while a geoduck clam was enjoying an ice cream cone. The black-eyed hermit crab was sitting in the shade, selling hats and mittens thatContinue reading “Moon Snails and Ice Cream”

Everything is going to be okay. As a mother and parent of a child with cancer, this is what I MUST believe. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things look. When Theo gets hurt or is scared and starts to cry, my first response is to wrap him up in my arms andContinue reading “Don’t Worry Be Happy”