Author Archives: kavila38

It’s a new year. Time to put away the holiday decorations and say good-bye to Mariah Carey for at least the next 10 months. Time to take a break from airports, shopping, overeating, over drinking, and over stressing. It’s time to start getting serious about that new year’s resolution you made before the ball droppedContinue reading “A Little Bitter Enhances the Sweet”

I can still remember the first time I saw Theo smile. It was beautiful. I wanted that smile to last forever. Like a drug, I was instantly addicted. I craved it every time I picked him up in my arms, like my life depended on it. Finally! After months of feeling like some crazy sleepContinue reading “A New Beginning”

“That’s a tough man bruise”. That’s what Coach Ed, Theo’s little league baseball coach, told Theo after he got hit hard on his side with the baseball. Theo appreciated that. It was just what he needed to hear at that very moment. It hurt, and as Theo says, “I was trying hard not to tear”.Continue reading “See You on the Other Side”

One recent morning I met a woman in the elevator at Seattle Children’s Hospital. Theo was back in the cancer care unit. I was on my way down to the 3rd floor to get coffee. Elevators can be so awkward and uncomfortable sometimes. You’re just standing there in silence, trying to avoid eye contact withContinue reading “Fluid”

“Every problem has an opportunity for something good. You just have to look for it.” Yamada, K. (2016) What Do You Do With A Problem? (M. Besom, Illus.). Compendium, Inc. Sounds easy, right? Turning something bad into something good. Finding the happiness in a maze of sadness. Staying calm in a storm of chaos. It’sContinue reading “The Black Belt Spirit”

A warm breeze, the morning sun, a fresh cup of coffee. I am sitting under the maple tree in our front yard with Luis, my love and best friend. We are all home in Kingston for the week. It is our first summer morning sitting together, looking at the trees, listening to the birds, andContinue reading “Recharge”

“It’s the cold fish dying in your stomach feeling. You try to forget about it, but as soon as you do, the fish starts flopping around under your heart and reminds you that something truly horrible is happening.” (Ozeki, 2013, p.180) Since Theo relapsed, I have been at war with my emotions. Like a bubblyContinue reading “Zazen”

Two weeks ago, I was going through my notes in preparation to write a new blog entry. It had been, gosh, at least two months since I had given an update. I had all my detailed notes with dates and times from his visits with urology, cardiology, and monthly provider visits. Theo had been inContinue reading “Backwards World”

Once upon a time there was a boy, full of adventure and courage. He was empathetic and kind, making friends wherever he would go. He lived in Seattle with his parents and went to school where he learned Spanish, the native language of his father. One day the boy woke up with a runny noseContinue reading “Mashed Potatoes”

Today is Friday, December 31st, 2021. That means there are exactly 12 days left of Theo’s cancer treatment. 12 days left of taking pills. 12 days until Theo is DONE WITH THERAPY and hopefully, done with this disease forever. Now, if that isn’t the best Christmas present ever in the world, I don’t know whatContinue reading “The Final Countdown”